Partly Facetious: But we have our own traditions

"I was watching the US presidential debate."
"Before you start comparing apples with oranges let me tell you that it is not possible in this country, we have our own traditions. And our traditions are to hurl accusations and threats against each other during jalsas - gets much better publicity than a silly debate where emotion has to be downplayed and the crowd is not of one party so there are few claps..."
"Also we have three, instead of two national parties now? But we can have the leaders of all three national parties up on the podium answering questions, debating each other on their responses and..." "No silly it's not possible because the party leaders do not equate their stature, as per their own perceptions, with that of the other party leaders and..."
"Stature based on what? The votes, the number of seats, the number of..."
"No, the stature....now take Mian sahib - he is the oldest, and I don't mean in terms of age, but in terms of being in politics."
"But Mian sahib still reckons we are in the 1990s and he seems kind of indifferent to a lot of institutions that have come up since then for example the media, in terms of economics he has unwavering faith in an accountant and is refusing to look at economists assessment of the country's economic performance and..."
"I find your economists kind of suspect. I mean they held portfolios in the past and did nothing and never actually used their knowledge to take the economy forward and need I add they all have a For Hire sign so all Dar sahib has to do is to appoint them in a senior position and viola! All their objections go down the drain."
"That's so cynical."
"But true."
"Yeah, true, anyway why can't Zardari sahib and the Khan debate first and then the winner takes on Mian sahib?"
"Zardari sahib is a former President and his stature..."
"I give up."